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What I’m Not

I’m Jack

"My mission is to find the body that Mother Nature Intended, not what McNature provided"

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October 2010
« Sep   Nov »

Ever since I was a little kid I have had dreams, ambitions for many different kinds of jobs. When I was 10 I wrote labels on the local music shop’s juke box and I also had a paper route. When I was 12, I answered phones for a small town taxi company. I earnt $12 a night and that was a fortune which I used to buy heaps of lego and cricket sets.  When I turned 14 I worked at the Donut King for a little while and then went onto work at the local Coles Supermarket.

All the while I wanted to be a policeman but with my poor attitude to studying I knew that I would never achieve that, so I joined the army instead which I have written about previously.

Over the course of my adult life those dreams, ambitions have radically changed.

In my early 20’s a few people told me I have a great voice and should get into radio.  I even did a 13 week radio course when I lived in Sydney but have done nothing with it bar a failed attempt at being the SAFM Sports Rookie.

I’ve always thought I am a funny guy.  I am.  You know it.  I know it.  Everyone knows it.  So I’ve always thought I could become a stand up comedian.  I’ve written a few gags which in hindsight weren’t even funny.  Check out this pearler from a few years ago I put on EwwwwYube.  I’m more of a spontaneous comedian, making a current situation funny through observational humour.

At one stage over the past 18 years I think I have also had a desire to be a sports agent.  I think Jerry Maguire had a bit to do with that one.  Show me the money. You complete me! All that crap.

Last year I flirted with the idea of being a personal trainer in the height of my gym days.

My current dream, ambition is to be a writer whether it be as a novelist or as a screenwriter. I’m still going with this one but from what I have found it, the chances of me making a living in this area is limited so for now it is just a hobby and not a career.

I remember declaring at the age of 16 I would play cricket for Australia.  I suck at cricket.  I love it, but I was lucky to just make my clubs third grade squad yet alone don the baggy green representing Australia at the MCG in the boxing day test.

I have been so preoccupied over the years of seeking the dream job for me that I have not realised that I am pretty bloody good at what I do already.

I am a good father and husband.  I love my girls unconditionally and would do anything for them.

I am a loyal employee.  I spent 18 years with my last company, moving around the country, uprooting my family to go where I was needed.

I am a good friend to all my mates.  I am there for them when needed and while I don’t pick up the phone as much as I should – but nor do they – I am always there for them if needed.

I am a good citizen.  I respect the laws of my country and respect my culture.  I don’t apologise for being a Nationalist.

So while I am not a radio announcing cricketer who dabbles in stand up comedy while writing in-between setting up new deals for my numerous sports stars across the country, should I give up my dreams of being any of this?  No way.  You gotta follow through on your dreams and while I am smart enough to realise that I will not achieve most of these, if any, that doesn’t mean I stop trying.

It’s good to be me.  There are plenty of people in the world who don’t have what I have.  I just gotta remember that what I’ve got and who I am now, is still pretty bloody good and I should be satisfied with that.


  1. Heather says:

    I like you — you’ve been a great friend to a new arrival! Always making me feel welcome and cheering me up 🙂 And I know you love your girls!!!!!

  2. Barbie says:

    So excited I found this article as it made things much qurikec!

  3. Essays like this are so important to broadening people’s horizons.

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