Home » Things My Kids Say

Things My Kids Say


Quite often my kids throw out a comment which leaves me laughing for a long time and struggling to regain my breath.  Unfortunately, as the years go by, I forget some of these classic lines so I have decided to capture these moments here, at the McClane Train for all eternity. As I remember funny moments from the girls from years gone by, I will do my best to recall them here.

I hope you have as much a laugh at these as I have over the years.


Michaela – Age 4

Michaela: “Dad, I know what the F word is”.

Me: “What is it then?”

Michaela: “You son of a bitch”


Michaela – The night before her 5th birthday

Me: “You’ll be a big girl tomorrow morning”

Michaela woke up the next morning, crying her eyes out.

Me: “What’s wrong sweetie?”

Michaela: “I’m not a big girl now, I’m still small!” (because she hadn’t turned into a woman overnight”)


Lara – Age 4

Whenever Lara asks for something like a present I always say “one day” and have done so for years and Lara has always been satisfied with this answer.

Lara: “Can I have this (toy) please”

Me: “One day”

Lara: “Dad, when will one day be?”

Me: “When you are 10” (After laughing for a long time)


Lara – Age 5

Lara is in the bath on the other side of the house, I’m in the dining room.

Me: (softly singing Black Eyed Peas) “I gotta feeling…….”

Lara: “…woohoo”


Lara – Age 5

Getting ready for school….

Lara: “Daddy, I’m tired.  I need my beauty sleep!”


Lara – Age 5 (24 April 2010)

Me: “You are a smart cookie!”

Lara: “Daddy, I’m not a cookie, I’m a human!”


Lara – Age 5 (25 May 2010)

Me: “Lara would you like to do commercials and be on TV?”

Lara: “Yes dad but it would hurt on the glass on the TV to get in it!”.


Michaela – Age 12 (10 June 2010)

I don’t get sick often but when I do, I have an ability to ‘self heal’ rather quickly.  This afternoon we were discussing this after I had ‘self healed’ overnight after having the flu for a couple of days.

Me: “I have a super power that I can self heal”.

Michaela: “No, dad, you are just a lucky bastard!”.


Michaela – Age 12 (29 July 2010)

Michaela and Lara entered a modelling competition.  Lara made it through to the next stage and unfortunately, Michaela didn’t.

Me: “Poor Mick, are you ok?”

Michaela: “Yeah dad, I’m not a model, I’m a writer!”

Yes she is!


Lara – Age 5 (25 August 2010)

Lara has been having problems at school with two boys who pick on her.  Tonight at the dinner table we had this conversation.

Lara: “Dad you need to smash Lachlan down because he’s an idiot”.

Me: “I’m not allowed to do that”.

Lara: “But you can smack kids on the bum”.

Me: “Only my own kids”.

She smiles and replies with a laugh

Lara: “That’s me! You don’t smack me on the bum!”


Lara – Age 5 (26 September 2010)

I took Lara to the park.  While there a pre existing scab on her knee started to bleed but she didn’t notice until she got in the car to go home and then she started crying.

Me: “Why are you crying?”

Lara: “Because it is sore and bleeding”.

Me: “It was bleeding before and you didn’t cry”.

Lara: “Well that’s because I’m in shock!!”

Very funny girl.


Lara – Age 5 (21 December 2010)

The family and I were watching the US version of Minute to Win it when this conversation occurred.

Lara: “Is he gay?” Referring to the male contestant

Lisa: “Do you know what gay means, Lara?”

Lara: “It means that they like to wear high heels!”

Too funny!


Lara – Age 5 (23 January 2011)

The family and I were driving to the Gold Coast when I got pulled over for a random breath test.  After I had blown in the bag and continued on our journey, this comment happened.

Lara: “Is that bag to make your yellow teeth clean?”

Us: “Uncontrollable fits of laughter”

While I don’t have movie star teeth, they aren’t even that yellow. Too funny!


Lara – Age 6 (12 April 2011)

Lara came home from school today and told me about her new boyfriend.

Lara: “Dad, I have a crush!”

Me: “Are you going to tell (old crush) you don’t have a crush on him anymore?”

Lara: “No. I don’t want to break his heart!”

Me: “What about (close family friend crush)?”

Lara: “He already had his heart broken!”

It was the funniest conversation. Too funny!


Lara – Age 8 (March 2013)

Lara was staying with nanna for a couple of days when nanna asked Lara to give her a massage.  Nanna kept on asking Lara to massage harder:

Nanna:  “Harder. Try and hurt it”

Lara: “Do you have a hammer!”


Lara – Age 8 (13 April 2013)

Lara and I were at Bakers Delight and I asked the guys where the boss was with different answers such as “Hawaii” or “golf” coming from the team.  When Lara decided to give her opinion:

Lara: “Maybe he’s dead!”


Lara – Age 8 (13 April 2013)

Driving home in the wet and I noticed the lake full of ducks.

Me: “Lara, look at all of the ducks in the lake”.

Lara: “They’ve got their heads under water trying to escape the rain”.

Me: “They’re doing that trying to catch food”.

Lara: “Oh. I was about to say, man up ducks!”


Lara – Age 8 (30 April 2013)

Lara was telling me about a boy at school she likes.

Me: “Do you need to have a boyfriend at all”.

Lara: “Dad, I don’t want to die alone”.




  1. oh dad u make it seem so much funnier than it is
    love u

  2. So cute! I love these … kids are so cute. I particularly love the big girl one, that sounds like something Miss 7 would do.

  3. aolani says:

    your kids are sweet

  4. ask says:

    As the admin of this site is working, no question very shortly it will be famous, due to its quality contents.

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